face first

sunrise. sunset.
burn away the detriment.

solemn

all my friends drowning at sea, everyone except for you and me
and they'll at the bottom, with anchors tied to their feet
with all that love their hearts will sink, and theyll be at the bottom.=
i think ill take the long way home, i suggest i sit up straight, i suggest i straighten up and get out.
you know i wont mind, if the curtain falls over you
no i wont mind, if the curtain falls over me too.

shitty days in portland

mmm
im sick of loneliness.
but i know i cant cope with the stress of a partner
im way too lethargic
i wish i was not so difficult to maintain.

depression seeps its way in, again.

misery

we are all tied to insecurity.
seeking for an escape only to that insecurity.
if we didnt have insecurity, then there would be no means of misery

it sure as hell aint normal but we deal.

we dont sell to minors"

how do kids even know what to write about anymore.
we think we're living our lives as adults live theres.
we absolutely beleive that we should be trusted
in that sense as, being trusted with strangers, parties,
underage drinking, the time we're told to be home,
we think we're smart.
our own little bullshit stories we make up 5 minutes before we walk in the door to our worried mother.
blaming the can of alcohol and cigarretes on our older siblings.
we try to grow up so fast.
where adulthood is a drug, and is made legal to 18 years and over for a reason.
once we grab a taste of this, nobody can stop it.

it is a disease which ruins young ones hearts
sends them into a deep whole of greed, hatred, and then depression.

we think we're ready.
we try to grab hold of as many aspects as possible.
but we are only ever fooling ourselves

mature

through my adolescence, ive realised, everything is so "on and off"
ive caught myself sticking to one thing, for about 2-3 days.
then completely disbanding it and going onto something else.
much like a miniature phase.

i hate growing up
id litterally give up whats left of my childhood to be at least over the legal age of 18 years old. At least then id have the right to do as i please.

indecisive

sometimes
its hard to differentiate, if things are going uphill, or down downhill.
maybe they are simultaneous.
i guess you cant have the good without the bad.
or perhaps the good is the bad.
only a knowlegdable human would know.
but that'd only be a minor statistic